I want to live in The Shack

Ok...so it has been fooooreeeeeveeeeeer. I'm sorry to those who lived on my every word. ha.

This post will kinda be a recap of the last month of my life. Random points here and there, don't worry.

I want to start by saying how GOOD God is...in every sense of the word.

1. The Shack
2. Emotional Restoration
3. Weight loss journey
4. Job opportunities.

yes, i just bulletined my blog highlights.

mmk back to business.

1. I read the shack this past month and it was incredible. I absolutely loved it. It has made me look at so many things differently and has made God, and the trinity so much more real and applicable. I believe the message of the book is incredibly powerful and has the ability to literally change lives. The author writes from semi experience based on the troubles of his life growing up and it is truly authentic.

- Sitting in church today, something clicked in my head. Something that is incredibly simple but makes understanding human nature a lot easier. When we chose to sin, it is because we believe God is not good. We believe He is not enough, so we turn to the world. Now don't get me wrong, ive known this all along...but there is something that just clicked. The simplicity of it. I have never been given a reason to doubt God, or believe He is not Good. In fact, compared to alot of people i know, I've had a fairly easy life. I am very blessed. All I know is God's goodness, so it just goes to show how our nature gets the best of us when we're not always on guard.

....Anyways, back to the book. If you havent read it, do so....quickly. It's worth it I promise!

2. God has used that book and many other things to fill the void I had recently. Anyone that has felt pain and hurt, or even just dissappointment at certain events that take place in life, that we dont really have much of a say in knows what I was feelings. Heartbreak. But God really did do something amazing and it kinda seemed like overnight. Amazing how that happens. I'm not going to stand here (simply because im actually laying in bed right now) and tell you Im not sad at times or that I dont get lonely, cause everyone does....but I understand the purpose and the process better, now.

3. I havent blogged about my weightloss in well over a month, but I have lost 19lbs. I truly am greatful that JC has given me the strength to keep going with this and for making it seem very attainable. My goal is 45lbs total, but i started saying i wanted to lose 20-30lbs by the end of summer...my goal is very close and I can alllllmost reach it. I'm really happy about it! I feel great and I am much more confident =)

and 4. I actually have a 2nd interview tomorrow (monday 7/12) on the phone with LU for the recruitment position. I'm in the top 3 out of all interviewed and tomorrow is just a few more questions, then they will pick out of us 3. I'm seriously thanking God so much for allowing me the opportunity even thus far. Even if I don't get it, I know that God will use it =) but i feel pretty confident I will get it.

SO YEA...thats my life at this point...in a nutshell.


peace

I've gotta feelin'

So a few random things...

1. The new Black Eye Peas CD is hoppin', and by hoppin' i mean bangin', and by bangin', i mean rockin'! Seriously...if your body like to move...it will be thanking you for months.

2. God is soo good. Potentially I could go from having an empty plate to a feast in a few short days. I will explain further if it pans out.

3. I had the weirdest dream last night. crazy weird. I woke up laughing...

4. I'm sure in the vast, deep blue ocean there is at least one fish with aquaphobia. Why do i think this? Because God likes humor just as much as we do.

5. I have some of the best friends in the world.

6. I want to be famous.



thats it. smile!

-PapaBear

I wouldn't say Im freakin out, buuuut...

Ok...

I'm seriously not trying to complain anymore than I already have, cause God is good.
But heres the thing. I only got one shift at work last week and I had to call out sick which sucked. I'm waiting to see how many I get for next week but I have to be honest...I'm not very optimistic. I have a feeling I'm not going to make much money the rest of the summer which is a real bummer. I would love to see God do something amazing out of this and I have the faith that He will. But it is tough to just sit and wait. I'm trying to apply for jobs but considering im trying to go back up to VA in the fall, i highly doubt any businesses will hire me for 2 months which adds another negative to the puzzle.

please keep praying for me!


On a more positive note...I'm at the lowest weight I've been at since I started losing. I hit a little hiccup cause of various celebrations...but I've now lost 11 1/2 lbs. I weighed in this morning at 258. I feel good and I praise God he has kept me strong so far.

God bless, I promise my next blog will be funny...haha I'm workin on some stuff =)


peace

Jordan

Interesting...

So i continue to learn...

Sitting in church tonight it started to sink in....how much God really loves us. It is incredible!!! I totally understand what Paul was talking about in Romans when He was fighting with his human nature. I find myself really wanting to grow closer to God, but it really is hard. Life seems to get in the way so easily. I really am trying...but then when i look at my actions, it seems like my want to strive for righteousness doesn't mean anything. I know its not true...God just wants us to try, but when i see myself not quite matching up with what i want...i get frustrated.

I'm really tryin to get my life together...but sometimes it feels like it's out of control. It definitely helps when I get encouragement like i did tonight. Corrie rocks!

hahaha. I sit in awe of how incredible God is and how much he deserves. We love because he first loved us. He gave us the perfect example of everything we should be on earth. When you really think of the ultimate sacrifice He gave us and the blessings he continues to give us every day, we owe Him our lives in service at least. My pastor pointed out such an amazing principle... God has always been searching for man. When He said this I kinda had to think about it cause growing up i heard, "God just wants you to take the first step and he'll be right there with you". But if you look in Genesis, when Adam and Eve ate from the tree and were trying to hide themselves...GOD came looking for Adam. He has and will always be persuing us! How incredible is that. Despite my inconsistancy and lack of faith...God never grows impatient and He continues to persue my heart. What a loving God I serve....How can I, and you wake up every morning and not praise Him for who He is. There is none like Him. There is no other name, given to man, by which we can be saved. He who had known no sin, BECAME sin and sacrificed his life, so that we may know God. When I think about these things they nearly bring tears to my eyes. God gave so much and most the time i give so little, and He loves me just the same.

I'm really rambling right now, but I just feel overwhelmed with grace and love right now, so deal with it. Buuut God is awesome and he continues to show me new things everyday =)


peace,

Jordan

nuggets

dooo dee dooo dee dooooo...."OH, hey there! I didn't notice you..."


Ok so heres what i got for you'll tonight. Birthdays are all happy and perfect, right? hardly. Usually for me i end up losing my temper or being bummed out. This yr i didnt lose my temper, so it was automatically a decent day, but i am a bit bummed.

Life has been a little wishy washy recently. I have alot of free time on my hands and no money....which is a really bad combination. I should be spending it wisely, but who actually spends time wisely anymore?!?!
- so being kinda bummed, i opened the Bible. I didn't really find anything that stuck out to me so I picked up this devotional book i have of Max Lucado and read a bout a weeks worth of devotionals. I found 3 concepts i really needed to hear.

1. patience
2. perserverance
3. prayer

p.s. i really didnt try and do the alliteration thing, that was legit. im not baptist, trust me.

1. Patience is a gift of the Holy Spirit. It is a free gift that is given to us, but to develop it we have to be intune with the spirit inside of us. The Holy Spirit can only show you so much if you're not really working together. Good ole Max said to pray for patience if you dont have it. Keep keep keep praying for patience and you will get it, God will not grow impatient with you.

2. Perserverance. The new testament talks about this all the time, probably because of its importance, duh. Lucado uses the story of the fishermen out at sea. When they dropped there nights over and over and didnt get any fish all night. The Lord comes to them and tells them to drop their nets one more time...this story hit me hard tonight. When we(I) struggle through life, God sees it. It's not like he's standing in a corner with His hands up blocking is sight...He sees you. He knows you're struggling and he sees that your weak. Knowing all this He asks us to keep trying....just ooone more time. Push and push til you hit the wall, then push it over. This is a hard concept for me to actually apply cause its so much easier to give up. Refer to James 1 for more on the topic.

3. Prayer. Ok ok, show of hands....who doesn't worry? ..... ...... ...... right, me neither. It seems like worry has become a part of my life, and im sure someone else feels the same. That doesnt have to be the case. The Bible says to pray about everything, pray without ceasing, present your requests to God. Prayer is something that is so simple, yet so complex. Prayer relies on faith. I really really really need to work on this cause my prayer life has gotten laaaaame. I worry way to much and it's stressing me out lately...and those of you who know me, i never stress. so this is a big deal.

i guess they say you learn more in the low points of your life, right? well i sure hope so.


tryin to stay positive. life's tough =/

JB

Music

Pretty basic blog today, so don't get your hopes up. I know you're used to amazing words flowing from my lips, grabbed my hands and rolling off my fingertips into your hearts, but you aint gunna get much of that today.


Music is amazing. God really knew what he was doing when he created these rhythms and melodies. There is such power in the collection of sounds. I can be in what seems like the depths, and one simple song can lift me up to normalcy. Or i can be feeling totally okay and i hear a song and almost cry (ya i know im lame). It's crazy to think about how much music effects emotion. It's beautiful, really.

I wish i had talent like that. ha



feelin a bit melancholy today, which believe it or not is better than i thought id be. I feel like im falling and i really hope there is a trampoline below me. haha. I think i'll do a blog about humor soon, cause there is something amazing about humor as well. sweet. im all over the place today.


peace.

You receive not because you ask not.....ORRR because you're not ready

Look into a mirror. No seriously.....I'll wait.......

did you go look? probably not, but my point is this. What do you see? Do you see more or less than what you would like to see? Do you see someone that God sacrificed His son for? Do you see a beautiful Creation?

That is where we have to start. everyday...looking at ourselves with the understanding that we have something to offer the world, even if it's not much, we do! even on our darkest days, we DO have something to offer.

OK, now that we have briefly addressed our Identity in Christ, I now want to transition into a time of our expectations of God based on our Identities...but mainly mine, because, well, I'm the one writing. DUH!
The title of this blog is what it is for a very specific reason. The scriptures say ask and you shall receive, and later states, you have not because you ask not. This is taken way out of context, along with the verse "He will give you the desires of your heart". There is so much going on within scripture around these verses that gets overlooked. We read that and we say, "hmmm...I have not cause I ask not? Well then I'll simply ask...God, can I have this?" Not quiiiiiite how it works, unfortunately. Ha.

Hopefully this is as cohesive here as it is in my head. What Im trying to say is that I find myself asking God for things that I'm not ready for. I don't do this on purpose...but something in my pride actually makes me think I am ready and I can handle it. I was in the shower yesterday and it hit me...maybe things don't always work out cause I'm not ready for everything that comes with them. WOW, what a freakin' concept.

out of this post, which is mainly for me anyways, I would like for you to get a few things if possible.

1. Just because you ask, doesn't mean you'll receive.
2. We more often then not do not receive because we are not as ready as we think we are.
3. His ways are higher than our ways
4. His love endures forever.
5. I suck - no thats a joke. I am everything in Him and nothing outside of Him.

Until me, you, or Madea understands these truths we will continue to be frustrated when we ask and don't recieve. I write this as I am "waiting" for something in particular. It is not right, right now, because I am not right, right now. With this recent understanding I will try to get myself right, so I will be ready when the situation arises.

Truth must be your foundation if you hope to build towards greatness.


thats it. random and messy. take it or leave it.
peeeeace!

Jordan