You receive not because you ask not.....ORRR because you're not ready

Look into a mirror. No seriously.....I'll wait.......

did you go look? probably not, but my point is this. What do you see? Do you see more or less than what you would like to see? Do you see someone that God sacrificed His son for? Do you see a beautiful Creation?

That is where we have to start. everyday...looking at ourselves with the understanding that we have something to offer the world, even if it's not much, we do! even on our darkest days, we DO have something to offer.

OK, now that we have briefly addressed our Identity in Christ, I now want to transition into a time of our expectations of God based on our Identities...but mainly mine, because, well, I'm the one writing. DUH!
The title of this blog is what it is for a very specific reason. The scriptures say ask and you shall receive, and later states, you have not because you ask not. This is taken way out of context, along with the verse "He will give you the desires of your heart". There is so much going on within scripture around these verses that gets overlooked. We read that and we say, "hmmm...I have not cause I ask not? Well then I'll simply ask...God, can I have this?" Not quiiiiiite how it works, unfortunately. Ha.

Hopefully this is as cohesive here as it is in my head. What Im trying to say is that I find myself asking God for things that I'm not ready for. I don't do this on purpose...but something in my pride actually makes me think I am ready and I can handle it. I was in the shower yesterday and it hit me...maybe things don't always work out cause I'm not ready for everything that comes with them. WOW, what a freakin' concept.

out of this post, which is mainly for me anyways, I would like for you to get a few things if possible.

1. Just because you ask, doesn't mean you'll receive.
2. We more often then not do not receive because we are not as ready as we think we are.
3. His ways are higher than our ways
4. His love endures forever.
5. I suck - no thats a joke. I am everything in Him and nothing outside of Him.

Until me, you, or Madea understands these truths we will continue to be frustrated when we ask and don't recieve. I write this as I am "waiting" for something in particular. It is not right, right now, because I am not right, right now. With this recent understanding I will try to get myself right, so I will be ready when the situation arises.

Truth must be your foundation if you hope to build towards greatness.


thats it. random and messy. take it or leave it.
peeeeace!

Jordan

keep on keepin on...

So i weighed myself this morning and I have lost 10 1/2 pounds in 10 days. I couldnt be happier about the speed at which im losing weight. It really is a blessing from the Lord because up to this point it hasnt been too difficult. This process is actually helping me build some much needed discipline are well.

I started my journey weighing 269.5 and I weighed in this morning at 259. To be honest i dont really feel any different and i dont think i look like i've lost 10lbs, but hopefully i will keep losing. I said to myself that i would be happy if i lost 20lbs by the end of the summer, but here we are at only the end of may and I've already lost 10. So why stop at 20, right? right. The way im eating isnt too much different than before, just a little more controlled. I think i could live like this from now on and be happy, especially if i keep losing weight.

so a week and a half after i started im 259. I realize my pace will slow after about 2 weeks, and I might be a little discouraged, but keep praying for me and encouraging me. The good thing is im in florida for the summer and we've got the hottest part of summer ahead of us....so hopefully i can sweat off an extra few pounds. haha. If I am under 24o by the time i go back to school i will be very proud of myself!!! and truely very happy. My end goal is about 225-230. I DONT want to be skinny, thats a fact (no offense Bill). But at 230 I think i would be in good shape. I understand 40lbs is alot, and i dont expect to hit this goal very quickly, but I will eventually. I promise you this!

thanking God for His graces,

Jordan

This is tough

I'm in a really tough time in my life right now. It's getting hard to find joy, which is really sad. I wouldn't say I'm depressed, but I'm really struggling with having a positive outlook on life right now.

It feels like I'm getting hit with a wall of frustration and confusion. The thoughts in my head are all scrambled and despite a genuine longing to search harder after God, getting caught up in stupid bad habits. I looked in 1 Peter tonight and found an encouraging verse.

⁶In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. ⁷These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. ⁸Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, ⁹for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls....¹³Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. ¹⁴As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. ¹⁵But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; ¹⁶for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."


There is a part in there that stood out to me. It's the part that says put your hope in the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. What i gather from this is that we are NOT supposed to put our hope in current situations because we will continue to be let down and boy do i know that to be true currently. I want my faith to be proved genuine, but I'm finding harder and harder to trust God lately, even when im trying more. It's just such a principle that is foreign to man...just let go...it seems ridiculous.

I'm trying here, I really am. I want to be joyful...I pride myself in being a happy, funny guy that people want to be around. However its getting harder to hold on to that happiness. Please pray for me. There are alot of decisions to make in my near future that will effect it directly, with relationships and situations.

peace,

Jordan

A walk on the lighter side...

So, since i've been home i've been trying to eat healthier and work out. The result in the first 6 days is the loss of 5lbs. I feel pretty good, im not going to lie. I'm officially doing weight watchers now and im going to continue to work out. My goal is to lose at least 20lbs by the end of summer!
I definitely feel like i can achieve this and I can't wait...

I will keep updating each week, giving my weight lost. Cheer me on!




p.s. Bill and Rev are getting married next Saturday...INSANE!


Jordan,

Peace

think about it

I wonder if gay men ever secretly want to go to prison.

............think about it.







peace

Out of Hibernation

so here's the deal...

1. I'm a college graduate now! hooray hooray, right? riiiiight. My experience as a college graduate has shown me that it is very easy to take time for granted. I graduated on a Saturday, left Lynchburg on a wednesday, and I'm currently alone at home on a Friday. Livin the life, what can i say(i hope you can sense my sarcasm). Its not all bad, dont get me wrong.

2. I'm 2 days removed from Lynchburg and it seems like a yr. I never thought i'd miss that place as much as i do. I could be a little bias cause the beautiful girl that has my heart is still there, but i really did learn to love that city. Hopefully i can find a way to get back there.

3. The job search begins. I have my degree in Psychology, with a specialization in counseling. I am not really qualified for much with just my undergraduate. I have to find a job to get me through grad school, even if it sucks....then I'll be sitting pretty!

4. I love my friends more than anything in the world. they have been my family away from home for 4 yrs. I miss them so much already, but I have this reassurance that I will be back in the burg, or see them before i know it. If not, i guess God will show me a reason for it.




enjoy,

peace

So Until Then

A lot can happen when the sun goes down,
as long as it happens without a sound,
Cause we're whispering our words away,
stay still, stay here, just stay...

Breath in the beauty of the earth and sea,
smile for yourself or smile for me.
Whatever it takes to make you happy,
that's the man I'll be...

You're eyes have the power to save
and your lips continue to amaze,
but your heart has awaken me,
that I may see your beauty.

You are all that I know and all that I love,
I will only be what you see in me,
cause you're the greatest hope I see,
I pray that when you open your eyes you'll see only me.

Soon we'll be gone, who knows how long.
Hold on to the hope of the past,
you never believe me but my love will last
waiting strong til you come back
praying my heart will soon come back

So kiss me, cause until then I'll be here.
hold on to the love inside of you,
hold on to the words we've said so true
We will be together again soon,
but until then I will love you more
than I know how, more than you will remember,
more than you can forget,
I will love youwith every breath I have left