This is tough

I'm in a really tough time in my life right now. It's getting hard to find joy, which is really sad. I wouldn't say I'm depressed, but I'm really struggling with having a positive outlook on life right now.

It feels like I'm getting hit with a wall of frustration and confusion. The thoughts in my head are all scrambled and despite a genuine longing to search harder after God, getting caught up in stupid bad habits. I looked in 1 Peter tonight and found an encouraging verse.

⁶In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. ⁷These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. ⁸Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, ⁹for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls....¹³Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. ¹⁴As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. ¹⁵But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; ¹⁶for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."


There is a part in there that stood out to me. It's the part that says put your hope in the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. What i gather from this is that we are NOT supposed to put our hope in current situations because we will continue to be let down and boy do i know that to be true currently. I want my faith to be proved genuine, but I'm finding harder and harder to trust God lately, even when im trying more. It's just such a principle that is foreign to man...just let go...it seems ridiculous.

I'm trying here, I really am. I want to be joyful...I pride myself in being a happy, funny guy that people want to be around. However its getting harder to hold on to that happiness. Please pray for me. There are alot of decisions to make in my near future that will effect it directly, with relationships and situations.

peace,

Jordan